When I consider how my light is spent...

Losing light, bit by bit. Wake like clockwork around 5:30, but to a darker sky every morning.

Into the gym, and office, early. A productive day for the most part, though incoming projects are keeping me honest. Need to find time to get organized before the next batch of surprises arrives. Feel like a man whose arms are overflowing with packages.

Spent the better part of the afternoon running errands. Hardware store for, well, hardware. Lumber yard for lumber. Rental outfit for tables, chairs, and the like. Propane station for gas. Doesn't sound like much, but the traffic was miserable and everything took more time than expected. Gonna have to wait till tomorrow to mow the lawn.

Dreaming of a weekend where fishing and writing are my only concerns. 

 

Making the rounds...

Back and forth day. A ray of sunshine here and there. Good way to ease into the weekend.

Tried out the new rotisserie on the grill. A few bumps, but not a bad first effort. Should know what I'm doing when Saturday evening rolls around and the prime rib comes out. Hope so, anyway. Otherwise, it's dinner for twelve at McDonald's.

Still have number of commercial projects staring me in the face, but need to get a move on my reviews, too. Fallen a bit behind there. Got a lot on my mind, but all of it good. Like to see another story get picked up.

 

 

Cloudburst...

Up to my ears, suddenly.

New projects in and out the door all day. Tomorrow looks to be a carbon copy. Happy about the work, as always, but need to stay ahead of things or it could all end up in a train wreck. 

Nice note from M.C. last night, complimenting the quality and volume of work I've been putting in. An unexpected surprise, for sure. Coming from someone of his stature, quite the nod. Makes me wonder if I'm not on the right track after all.

Slow gains on the deep sea story. It's taken a lot of fiddling around to get the first five hundred words in order, but I think it's getting close.

Gym overrun this morning. Skipped rope in a corner while a guy behind me swung kettles, and a guy to my left chucked around a medicine ball. Crazy.

Storm coming in tonight? Feels like it.

Midsummer Night's Dream...

Sleepwalker's dream last night.

Curious, storybook morning.

Oh, the phone calls I haven't returned. The letters I haven't written. The thanks I haven't properly expressed. Always behind, always trying to catch up. That's the way it is. Fitzgerald was right, we beat on, boats against the current, born back ceaselessly into the past.

What if everything in front of me didn't seem so large? If everything behind me didn't seem so small? What then, I wonder. 

I'll think about that tomorrow...

Put in a nice, comfortable round of work today. With one exception. Didn't get as much time to noodle with my own stories as I would have liked. 

Made it to the gym early. Home in time for coffee and a quick shower, then off to the Beidleman center for a long walk in the woods with the little guy. Had a good time. Learned that "hoppers are scary," it's cooler when you walk in the shade, and no one one the planet obeys leash laws.

Saw a nice environmental bumper sticker as we were leaving: FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON'T WANT A DAM.

In the office by 1:00. Read two new N stories by special request, and wrote reviews. Also posted the Philharmonic work, and had copyright agreements notarized for the UCCS fight song.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Too tired to write anymore tonight.

Through with Thursday...

Blur of a day. Gym, home, office, home. Felt autumn in the air this morning. But it fled quickly. By ten o'clock it was warm again, temps running in the high eighties at mid day. 

Finished the give letters I'd started and fielded a phone call or two. One more quiet day at the keyboard. From the sound of things, I should have a couple of new projects coming in.

Was thinking this morning how much of the summer's gone and how much of it I wished away. Should probably be ashamed of myself, but I'm not. Hate the heat. It ruins everything.

 

 

 

Where does it go from here?

All story reviews went out the door today. That should be it for a while. Need to strike a better balance between kindness and practicality, I think, the in the next round. Set the mark at two percent, tops, and work backward from there. If anything extraordinary pops up, I'll make allowances. Otherwise, I want to keep a close eye on what I'm advancing. Make sure I'm not unnecessarily tiring out the next line of editors. Live and learn, right?

Didn't make it to the office until nine. Seemed like a slow morning all around. Made some good revises to three stories, caught up on correspondence, then back home to tend to smaller things. Drafted the first of two give letters. Researched the second. Spent the late afternoon outdoors, chalking sidewalks and chasing ants. 

Second day with no visitors, no mom, no brother. Should have been more productive, but it isn't as easy ramping back up as it used to be. Takes time now to hit my stride. Same goes when I'm switching from fiction to commercial work. Transition's a little less fluid. Not sure why, but it's there, a kind of resistance, and it takes a while to overcome.

Went to bed early last night and intend to do the same tonight. Want to rest up, and get a head start on work tomorrow. Get the client projects out of the way early, and leave myself some time to draft a new story. Do I have a new story? I hope so.

 

Easing back into it...

Woke early this morning, then off to the gym. First one in. Twice now in the same week. Home in time to have a quiet cup of coffee before packing Mom's gear and dropping her off with my brother, who's driving her up to Casper, into the Bighorns for a five day adventure. Enjoyed the company, but happy to have the house back. Spent the rest of the morning writing. Most of it, anyway. 

Put in some new revisions on "Man of Letters" then headed off to the theater to see the new Borne movie. Flick wasn't anything to write home about, but it was a good way to kill the afternoon. Mowed the lawns when I got home, and spent an unexpected hour or so with the little guy. Tired now, and ready to settle in. Have that strange exhaustion that follows in the wake of visitors. Thought maybe I'd have some time to read, but it wasn't in the cards. Not sure I've got the energy or focus to do much more tonight.

Learned my buddy had to put his dog down today. Felt for him. Terribly. What rotten luck. He can't seem to catch a break. Been a tough, tough year. For his animals, and himself.

Looking forward to tomorrow. New day, new start. 

Nowhere to go but forward...

Been missing my favorite things. Muchly. Looking forward to tomorrow when the schedule favors something closer to normal. No gym today, no writing, no reading. Up late after watching TV till some crazy hour (Opening ceremonies of the Olympics). Remind me again why I did that? 

Breakfast at home this morning, then off to the ProRodeo Hall of Fame for a few hours. After, a visit to the old St. Francis convent up in Peregrine, and later still, a tour of Glen Eyrie castle. Big hits, all. Wine and pizza for dinner tonight. An early retirement if that’s in the cards. Gonna try and rise early, work out, knock off the rust of the past few days and start moving forward again.

Read a killer piece of work (part of my N queue) yesterday. Long, long story. Fifteen thousand words. But mesmerizing. Need to revisit it tomorrow, or Monday, to see if holds up under a second reading. Got a feeling this one might not just hold up, but get better.

Mom leaving tomorrow, mid-morning after a quiet stay. Subdued here, I think, compared to her life in New Mexico, but I believe she enjoyed it. On her way to Casper tomorrow for the first time in years. Be curious to know how it fares. Imagine it'll stir a memory or two.

Of stories and story tellers...

Putting this together just before quitting time. Busy day. Up early, out the door, off to the gym and home again. Was right about the weather cooling. But the alternative isn’t much better. Low temps for the first time in weeks, but at the cost of a smoky gray sky and blustering winds.

Had a nice morning, talking over tea. Heard some good stories. A few have changed in the telling and re-telling, but the woman has a way of making them work. Reminds me of the long hours I spent in the back of the station wagon each summer when I was a kid, traveling cross-country, listening to her spin her tales about cow camps and cowboys.

Ran across a New Yorker article about Mavis Gallant. Haven’t had time to read it yet, but hope to tonight. One of my all-time heroes. A master of the short story. Powerful, elegant, sophisticated.

Got a letter off to the boy this afternoon. Been a while since I’ve written him. (Even longer since I’ve seen him.) Can Dallas really be two years ago? Best not to count, I guess. 

Time to pull focus...

Gym overrun today, but managed to get in a decent workout just the same. Put down the jump rope in favor of the rowing machine. Worked the heavy bag for a while. Tossed around the medicine ball.

Sent six of my eight N pieces off this morning. Promoted two of them. Had a dry spell for a while, turning down eight or ten in a row. Happy to be out of the slump. Two more in the queue, but probably won’t be able to give them a look until tomorrow.

Gave a cursory read to my buddies’ B&T’s stories. Impressed. Both have put in some quality work. Not surprised at that, but pleased for them. They’re taking this gig seriously, and the effort is paying off. Enjoyed both pieces.

Weather might break soon. Feels cooler today. Light’s been changing too. Harbingers of fall, I hope.

Having a nice time with mom. She’s dozing on the settee across from me as I write this. Never known a more peaceful, more forgiving soul in my life. Gonna remember this visit for a long time.

Mother/son movie adventure this afternoon. Gone with the Wind. Much as I want to dismiss the flick as a cinematic soap opera, I find it always comes back in a two fisted flurry, reminding me why a classic is a classic.

Dinner with my cousins this evening. Burgers on the grill, nice conversation, old family stories, and a lot of laughs. Missed seeing their boys, but a nice time anyway.

Tomorrow’s Thursday. Where did the week go? Seems as if these entries have become more and more disjointed of late. Guess they’re a mirror of what’s going on these days. Can’t seem to string together ten minutes of uninterrupted time.

That thing we do...

Posting from the kitchen, 9:21 pm. Waiting for the cool to blow in, but definitely not holding my breath. Looks like another day in the nineties tomorrow. Maybe all week. 

Made some progress with the N stories this morning. Decided to push one along. A nice piece, I thought, and rather than nix it I'm kicking it upstairs. Just in time, too. Received two new stories this evening. Got my work cut out for me.

Word from my buddies B & T back east. Mss from them, too. Looking forward to seeing what they've done. Strange how brief encounters can lead to friendships. Real ones. Have a great affinity for those boys, and hope to see them make good on their promise.

Ma arrived early afternoon. Looked tired but good for an 86 year old. Gonna have a nice quiet time with her while she's here. Received a note of condolence from an old, old friend today, as if by coincidence. Said he was sorry to hear about my father's death. In the card was a excerpt from Virgil. The Aeneid, chapter VI. Anchises and Aeneid reunited in the underworld. Broke me up. Down. To pieces. Thank you, my brother. I will not forget it.

Gonna start a new novel tonight. Send off an email or two. Sleep. Dream. Funny, but lately? When I'm feeling sentimental? A cat always appears from nowhere. Not sure what that's about, but I'm willing to run with it.

That thing we do? The one that keeps us looking to the future? Believing in the impossible? I'm for that. I'm living for that. Yeah, living for it.

 

 

 

 

A day in the life...

Not to whine about the weather, but hey, enough of the smoke and heat.

Tomorrow marks the first of August. Gonna be a month of guests, visitors, and family. Not used to so much company all at one time. A tweak here, an adjustment there, and everything ought to work out. But other adjustments lie ahead, too. There's no getting around it.

Put in another morning of good work on my manuscripts. Wasn't able to move as far ahead as I would have liked with the N mss., but managed to draft part of a critique, so that was something. Might have more gas in the tank to look at another tonight, or then again might save the whole batch for morning.

Trying to get the house in order. Ma's coming tomorrow. A week's stay. Picked up a new, miniature box spring to lower the mattress on the guest bed for her. Success. Also picked up some removable shower handles for the walk-in. Not a success, but that leaves the ledger even. Guess we'll fly by the seat of our pants from here on in.

A lot on the mind. Is it possible to have a lot on the heart, too? The soul?

I miss Wyoming...my dad...  

Have the feeling tomorrow's going to be an interesting day. Arms outstretched one moment, dukes up the next. 

 

Mid-day Meditation...

Early post. Getting ready to shower off after working in the yard all day. Policed the lawn, got a start on tidying up the Augean stable I call my garage, and rigged electricity to the backyard fountain.

Gym was dark and empty this morning. First that's happened since the joint opened four years ago. Kinda nice. Blazed through my workout in absolute silence. Very Zen, very efficient. 

Two nights ago, came outside to witness the strangest lightning storm I think I've ever seen. Bursts of ragged light, one after another, high in the night sky, that went on uninterrupted for minutes. There was no thunder. Just this low, rolling rumble. Was like something out of a sci-fi movie.

Fires must still be burning hard. The sky was a miserable blue-gray haze all day. Read there are new blazes in Wyoming, too. One close to Tensleep. Hope the rains come soon. The firefighters could use some help.

Picked up some new commercial work yesterday. Happy about that. Also got my first contributor copy of the Flint Hills Review, featuring my story "Into the Sunset." Beautiful cover. Need to put in for additional copies. Spread the word, as they say.

Got to remind myself of the victories, not the losses. The brilliant moments when lightning strikes, and everything is illuminated. Need to look ahead, always, or risk letting the next one slip by, unnoticed.